When one feels the impulse to soar". - Helen Keller
One blue sky day about six years ago, when I was still in my final years of medical school, something happened to me. Something which caused my whole world to fall in little tear drops around my feet. It was a day which I will never forget as long as I live. I can still feel the door locking behind me, see myself pulling every curtain closed and shutting out the light. Feel the surface of the pillow into which I wept, until I could weep no more.
This week, as unimaginable as it would seem that history should repeat itself, something very similar to that event, almost its mirror image, happened in my life...
And yet to my own deep surprise. My reaction thus far has been completely different.
6 years ago, my world crumbled around me. I was immobilised by pain. Falling head first into an abyss of hopelesness from which I thought I would never rise.
But somehow, with the help of my beautiful family and friends, I did rise.
Discovering joy and meaning in my life which i never thought possible.
Since that time, at some bump or juncture in this broken road, I guess Maithri must have grown up. ;)
Because today, whilst my brow may be bloodied, my head is unbowed.I am no longer content to be victimised by life.
I know now in the very cells of my being, that nothing that happens to me, can diminish me.
My treasure, is the person that I am.
A very imperfect person. A wounded person.
But someone who dares to inhabit their lives fully. Who loves with the entireity of his being.
Who inspite of all his scars tries each day to understand instead of standing in judgement, to include instead of exclude, to hope rather than despair.
James Allen said "Circumstances dont make a man. They reveal him." And today I understand what he means.
The darkness which we experience is merely a canvass upon which the firelight of our souls can dance.
I have once again been offered a dark invitation, to reach inside; to unfold and unfurl, like the petals of the jasmine; like the stars of the milky way.
And this time, I am ready...
So in this night time of my soul... I raise my eyes to the starry skies....
and say "Yes".
Yes to the music. Yes to the mystery. Yes to what is, and what will be.
I will not break.
I will not creep.
I was born to soar.
My love to you, Maithri.
Posts
42 Whispers of Hope:
My dearest Maithri, I was strongly drawn to your blog very quickly this morning, but not knowing exactly why, now I do. I guess there are always those dark nights of the soul, times that test us, our faith, our love, our ability to experience joy. But in reality they are indeed our invitation to soar and we must have faith in our wings.
My thoughts are with you as is my love,
Sylvia
Thank you dear Sylvia for always being there,
I wrote about this briefly a few days ago and then immediately deleted the post because it almost felt too personal, too raw to share....But the reason I began this blog was to tell the truth.. To share the lessons im learning and the journey that Im on...
My loved ones want to know why im not crying....They say That i must be dying inside... I tell them its because right now what I need is not tears... Its strong, powerful thoughts...Its to remember that I will be ok. We all will.
Warmest Love and gratitude to you dear friend,
M
Maithri, I have learned to be brave because of you. You give me strength to see possibilites where before I thought was only hopelessness. I weep for the people of the world, yet I always thought that unless you are someone like you, you cannot help. I learned better, thank you.
Dearest Maithri,
When you mentioned the stars, I heard a little voice say, "Without the dark, the stars do not shine."
So, while you are in a dark time, you are so wise, to look to the stars, to rise above the fear, the hurt and hold your head high.
I am so proud of you. Know that I am holding you close to my heart and lifting you up to our Creator. Feel the Love surround you.
Dearest maithri,
I am sitting with my pain these days.
And maybe not ready to soar (yet), but
it is so tremendous a gift to me, to read your words,
and know that you are strong with in yourself and your grief.
I hold my Sorrow in my heart, and it does not burden my heart, for as it sits there it strengthens me. The tears wash away my sadness, and slowly I will be refilled with hope.
~holding you close in thoughts~
hello maithri...it's been a while for me. i know, whatever your challenges are, that you meet them with courage and grace. you WERE born to soar...and to bring us with you. much love,
donna
My friend,
I have been to that dark place. Though I didn't know it then, I see it now as a growing place. Like a seed buried in manure enriched soil, I was taking root, beginning a new journey. But I could never have put it as beautifully as you have here.
I give thanks to the God of my understanding for both your dark times and your light. Together they have created the person I have fallen in love with without ever seeing you in person. When I hear you sing, or read your words, or see your photos I feel blessed. You are here as an ambassador of love. Living through the darkness into the light brings hope and joy to a troubled world. May you feel the hugs of all the people whose lives you have touched. May you know you are loved and may this knowledge bring you peace.
Blessings, my friend. Like an expensive mushroom sold in the finest French restuarant the darkness just adds to your flavor.
M
"to unfold and unfurl, like the petals of the jasmine"
This made me smile. Buddhists speak about letting our inner selves unfold like the petals of a flower. Sometimes it would seem so much easier to keep ourselves furled up with all of our petals bravely (seemingly) bound together to keep all of the pain and heartache from penetrating our inner sanctum, but in keeping those things out, we fail to let anything else in.
You let the world in to your heart and by doing so, we all seem to be healed in some small way.
My thoughts are with you, Maithri. I wish for you only peace and love and light.
And you soar with such a beautiful light, I'm captivated and touched by the magic that illuminates your life and brightens my sky...
:-)
so much love, and a million (((hugs))) to you, mi amigo, my friend.
love,
me
darling,
I hear every beautiful word you wrote...and feel each one too.
pain is joy in reverse, a mirror to show us the joy...I think you are surrounded by the mirrors of your soul and they have made you like an oak, strong yet supple...
xo
Dearest Maithri, to know that sadness has touched you makes me want to reach out and hug you and stroke your hair in silence, just being close, in the awareness that the abundance of love that showers you from all the directions will bring healing. May you release your tears. They are not a sign of weakness, they are a gift from the Creator to let peace and serenity flood our heart. Your inner strength is a sign of great maturity and I bow to you for your positive attitude in whatever matter you are coping with.
Your words, as always, are intensely uplifting.
Let go, let God!
Sending you all my love and prayers and hugs.
Margherita
My soul is smiling at your soul Maithri.
xxx
Good. You are seeing with even more clarity now my brother. I didnt think i could love you more but guess what? I do :)
I wrote something last night, actually I'm pretty sure i just recorded the words that were spoken to my own heart.
I think you might even find some more comfort in them, a place to rest and understand.
i love you my sweet brother
xxsm
Sending love & light from Santa Fe.
Hugz & peace,
T.
"that which doesnt kill us makes us stronger"
cliched but true
sometimes, though, i dont want to get stronger ;)
My dear and precious brother Maithri,
You know your story will emerge as it should and it will heal you. Your healing has already been great and your impulse is not just to soar... No it is also to share healing with all those whom you meet.
You are a treasure. Blessings and peace always for you, always.
"Circumstances don't make a man. They reveal him." Very true.
What happens to you is not important. It is how you react to it that matters.
Hello Maithri,
Here is a verse from Neruda for you today:
And I, tiny being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars.
My heart broke loose with the wind.
Much love to you, my friend!
Maithri,
Words are not big enough to
wrap you in...
I know of none in my gilded language...
except these...
peace and love.
You are loved my friend,
by strangers passing,
by your dearest friends, unmet yet,
by little ones,
hungry eyes,
butterflies...
And with your wings,
they find peace,
I find peace...
May your world be blessed with that which you give so freely of...
The Gift....
Much Love, friend, and Peace...
Sometimes amidst the greatest chaos of all, it shines...
May you be well
May you be happy
May you always progress
and, May you be free from suffering.
Metta Bhavana
I am standing with you at this time. You have my love and support. No matter what.
Maithri, how strange that you would post this today, when today I had my own little test of strength, and posted as well. I did not fair, perhaps, quite as well, although I did soooo much better than I would have in the past... because I, too, am tired of being victimized. Mostly, tired of letting other people push my buttons, and walk over me. Sometimes it's not so much the words, as how they are said, and what the intent is behind the energy which evokes those words. It can be hard, sometimes, for people who are sincerely nice, kind, and loving, to deal with those who are not naturally so. How do we react? What do we say? What do we do so that they won't continue with their ill intended actions? I decided today, like you, that I will hold my head up, because I know who I am. Love to you, my dear friend! Your Light Shines...
Even though I am not at home right now, I knew it, my gentle friend, I knew there was something not right and so, like Sylvia, I was drawn here to your place because in my heart there was an imperative to reach out to you.
Better than a thousand hollow words, is the one word that brings peace...and that word is love. So, dear Mathri, our Mduduzi, if love is a healing aid, please…take mine.
Just like you, I’ve learned as I get older what the beauty of life is. The beauty of life is that while we can’t undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, love and laughter. I wish all of those things for you, my special friend. xxx
And yes, yes, yes! You were born to soar. You are like an African eagle, rising higher and higher on the thermals until you can see the world curving beneath you. xxxx
Flying with you M, right next to you...(i'm giving you a little push...can you feel it...on your left side...teehee!)
Flying with you xx
My dear Maithri,
There were many days this year, I felt like I was going to succumb to the dark side. So much grief and pain consumed me.
I had the love of friends that helped me. And also the inner belief that my life is so much bigger than this pain. One day, I would heal and begin again. That is what is happening now day by day.
I say all of that to say I understand deeply. I send you much love and glad you were able to come back to the light.
My dear, young friend (for I am old enough to be your mother)--
You inspire me. I love your positiveness in the face of all that life brings.
I am sorry for your pain, yet I know that you will go through this and come out the other side stronger, deeper, wiser. I, too, have known dark nights of the soul. Reason has little to do with them. Some are short--some long. But in the context of eternity, time does not exist.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability here. May you be comforted. May you be blessed.
May you feel loved.
Maithri...
A phrase keeps running through my head of late, that "shadow is confirmation of the presence of light."
May the shadow in which you sit now reaffirm for you the presence of your own light.
May the dancing shadows surrounding you remind you that you are loved, that the love you have given so freely is there to come back to you ten-fold.
May the light of the God of your understanding (thank you, too, Merry ME, for that beautiful phrase) hold you close and lift you up.
May you continue to say yes to life, to shadow and light.
The outpouring of emotion here, this cup, is overflowing...drink it up. It will always be full.
My love and the Lady's grace,
Heartsong
Sorry to hear of your chasms and the drawing darkness within. Your impulse to soar pulls us all with you up up up high above it all.
I am honored and humbled by your candid post. I just wish I could actually grab your hand and run quickly with no specific direction, just for the feeling of a better future rushing towards our faces.
All my admiration, love and respect,
Lola xx
Here from Yoli's.
What an incredible post!
My Beautiful friends,
I am humbled and moved so very deeply by your beautiful, powerful kindness...
As I read your words, the wild and beautiful fragrance of peace surrounds me...
I am so priveledged to be part of this community of compassion and active love...
You are each my heroes... And I look forward to continuing the journey which we are on together...
I send you my deepest, sincerest gratitude....On the wings of my little words ;)
You have loved my world into change,
All my love, Maithri
"The darkness which we experience is merely a canvass upon which the firelight of our souls can dance."
Beautiful:) I am left sans words whenever I visit your blog...youre a great human being and an amazing writer Maithri! I wish you all the very best in life :)Keep penning and inspiring!
By looking bravely into the Darkness, you brought light shining into the moment, allowing yourself to reunite, and soar to a higher vibration.
Beautiful and honest. It made me think of this: http://samosasforone.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-sound-my-barbaric-yawp.html
I am thinking of you, my jasmine friend. Yes to you, my brave soaring friend. I love you.
Maithri,
We are light. We are darkness. And all shades in between. It's our reaction to change that causes despair. Just know that you are love and loved. Whatever it is, you can overcome it through love.
Warm Hugs My Friend.
There are patterns everywhere. Not conspicuously apparent. Unnoticed, they remain unrelated. Blank overtones, anonymous, lost in a circle of fifths. Invited, they rise and fall in melodies that warm the wounded heart. Soon themes emerge. You begin humming them, dreaming them.
You my sweet friend add the grace notes. Making meaning and beauty by living and breathing each moment awake, alive and in love.
Dear one, let this pain be a mirror of your beauty.
Rest gently in the quiet spaces and soar on the updrafts.
may love and soft song surround you
This is a very moving post. I hope that the darkness will pass - keep on soaring, you are an inspiration as ever.
Yes. I hope your darkness has passed. I makes me very sad that anything can hurt such a beautiful person as you.... There is so much in this world that is not fair....
I am going to ask you for a special request, even though it appears that I have been bannished from your blog roll.
Over at my place I have posted a request for help in a project my children are doing for school. Could you, would you help? Your help would be so appreciated and even though you may not visit at my place anymore, I am still here....To help, just click on the linky and fill out the survey.... I am looking for people to fill out the survey from all over the world....and I was hoping my bloggy friends could help. (If I haven't said it here before, I certainly think often, "If I didn't have obligations in my life, my world right now, I would be helping you there in a second." )
Peace be with you. Thank you, For all you do.
you inspire me, sweetheart. yes you do. : )
Yes Maithri you were born to soar, just as light reaches to light, so your were born to soar to the heavens.
You are incredible and I completly understand that nothing can touch you. Good always touches us, but bad has no affect anymore.
Love Renee xoxo
I'm hoping your okay. I'm so late here. I know what you mean about sharing and honesty. I think you've found the perfect balance.
I think, when you share, it makes it easier to bear. How could anyone make you sad, I just don't know.
☺ lori
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